Some people believe being a middle child can influence your personality, behavior, and even mental health into adulthood. But research is mixed, and other factors may be more important.
If you are a middle child, or have a sibling who is a middle child, you may be wondering if “middle child syndrome” is a real thing.
Middle child syndrome is the belief that middle children are excluded, ignored, or even outright neglected because of their birth order. According to the lore, some children may exhibit certain personality and relationship traits as a result of being the middle child.
In this article, we’ll explore whether middle child syndrome is a real, common characteristic of middle children, and what the science says about birth order and middle child syndrome.
In 1928, Alfred Adler developed a theory on the importance of birth order on personality development. In his theory, he claims that although children may be born into the same household, their birth order greatly influences their psychological development.
According to
- The oldest child is more authoritarian and feels all-powerful due to the high expectations often set by the parents.
- The youngest child is treated like a spoiled baby and can never rise above the other siblings.
- The middle child is even-tempered but has trouble fitting in due to being sandwiched between the younger and older siblings.
This theory paved the way for a deeper look into how birth order affects someone’s psychological development. However, Adler’s theory was just a theory, and research has since shown conflicting results about the impact of birth order.
How might being a middle child influence someone’s personality and relationships? Below are some common ideas about the characteristics of middle children.
Personality
Middle children have personalities that are often overshadowed by their other siblings. The older sibling is strong-willed, and the younger sibling is the baby, which leaves the middle child somewhere in between. Their personality may be dulled down by their siblings, making them quiet and even-tempered.
Relationships
Middle children may have trouble feeling equal to their siblings in parental relationships. The older sibling often holds more responsibilities, and the younger sibling is well taken care of by the parents. The middle child doesn’t receive as much attention as either.
Rivalry
The middle child often feels the need to compete with both the younger and older sibling for parental attention. They might compete for attention among siblings, risking being ignored by one or the other. As they find themselves in the middle of everything, they may also become the peacemaker.
Favoritism
Middle children generally don’t feel they are the favorite child. Favoritism may exist for the oldest child who is viewed as special, or for the youngest child who is viewed as the baby. The middle child falls somewhere in between and is unable to be the favorite of either parent.
Some people believe that middle child syndrome can have a lasting impact on children as they grow into adults. If the characteristics listed above are true, being a middle child could cause a cascade of negative effects well into adulthood. The personality and relationship traits that defined them as children may develop into similar traits in their adult relationships.
For example, middle children who feel that they were neglected may have difficulty with co-dependency in adult relationships. They could find themselves continuing to be the peacemaker in adult life, perhaps at work or at home.
Their personality might be dulled compared to that of other adults around them. They might even have trouble feeling that they can be a best friend’s or partner’s “favorite” person.
Despite these beliefs in middle child syndrome, the science surrounding birth order is still being explored.
Mental health
Several older studies have examined the effects of birth order on conditions such as:
However, results have often been mixed, and other factor seems to play a more important role.
In a more recent study in Japan, researchers found that middle children may be less happy than their siblings during adolescence, but also less likely to experience emotional symptoms or overall difficulties.
The American Psychological Association notes that birth order is not a reliable predictor of any psychological outcomes.
Familial relationships
One of the most common beliefs about middleborn children is that they have distant relationships with their parents. One 2018 study found that middleborns were least likely (when compared to firstborn or lastborn children) to feel comfortable talking with their parents about sex education.
However, a 2020 study concluded that there wasn’t enough evidence to suggest that middleborns felt less close to their family.
Identity
A 2020 study found that middleborn children may be more likely to have a negative sense of self-identity.
Some studies have also found that middleborns may be more likely to have low self-esteem. However, a 2021 study found no link between birth order and self-esteem. Researchers suggested that middle children may be more likely to have a decline in self-esteem during adolescence or when facing stressful situations.
Behavior and personality
Some older research also suggests that middle children may be more prone to behavioral issues. For example, a 2013 study found that middle children were 33% more likely to engage in delinquent behavior than their older siblings. However, the author concluded that the results were not significant and could simply be due to chance rather than birth order.
Other early studies suggested that middleborns may be
A 2021 study found that middle children were more likely than their older siblings to exhibit prosocial traits, like kindness and collaboration. And research from 2024 found that middleborns scored high on honesty, humility, and agreeableness.
Middle child syndrome is a popular term used to describe how being a middle child shapes one’s personality and outlook in life. Some people believe that middle children are often ignored or neglected, which can have negative effects going into adulthood.
While some research suggests that birth order may influence personality, the results are contradictory, and more research is needed.
Ultimately, personality and life outcomes are defined by a variety of social, financial, and familial influences — but not necessarily by birth order.